Isn’t that corny…

I very rarely forget a dream.

Often, my dreams are vivid, detailed, sometimes gory violent, sometimes riddled with emotion – so much that I wake up with those very emotions, sometimes extremely pleasant & happy… I’m not one of those dreamers regularly falling off buildings or being chased or screaming with no sound coming out. No, I am living in another world most times in my dreams. I am seeing people I haven’t seen in years or don’t even know, I am doing things I don’t normally do, liking things I don’t normally like, etc.etc.etc

Just last night, I dreamt about corn. (I know, right?!!) Well, a deep discussion was being had about how to hold corn so you don’t burn your hands. An older person suggested the best way is by using a pair of pliers. This was happening on one of those American style front porches, with lots of open land & probably around dusk. I remember looking up at the sky & smiling.

Shortly after the first suggestion, I remember a roaring laugh & then some chatter about how ineffective that was. I kept thinking… what about those little spike thingies? Why is no-one suggesting that? Just as I was about to put forth (what seemed like my ground breaking idea!) there were birds… lots of birds. Not in a creepy way, but suddenly there was no more corn, or talk of corn. I felt so robbed! Maybe the lesson here was: Speak up! Or eat more corn! Who knows 🙂
Now, this often happens in my dreams… Instant change. One minute I could be in tropical paradise, the next on a race track. LOL The wonderful world of inside my head-space!
Even in dreamland, there’s lots happening up there!

Big Little Bugger

I’ve often been asked why I’m afraid of creepy crawlies.

It’s not so much a technical fear, knowing what their bite can do or how deadly their specific species is. It’s more about the sensation of them crawling over my skin. My mind plays tricks on me that way! Pictures form in my head-space that often involve this one creature multiplying on my skin. As if I have a special secretion that will allow it to do so.

My reaction to seeing anything with more than two legs/arms, scurrying across the floor or wall is usually a gut wrenching yelp! The kind that may have my neighbours thinking my darling boyfriend is slicing my skin with a blunt object… when in fact he’s usually rushing to save me! (What did I do before he became my spider-chasing hero?)

That doesn’t make it any less of a fear I don’t think. I know logically that I am bigger than this creature, I have the power to save it from my human dwelling & set it free back into nature where it belongs. But, even knowing all of this, reminding myself of it… when it happens all logic goes out of the window! I just want to squish it & make it go away. Then I get grossed out by squishy bits left behind & often feel bad.

Unfortunately… little fella… it’s me or you in that heat of the moment! Because my mind is in fight or flight mode! Most times I go with “flight” There is the odd occasion when I feel like Wonder Woman & go with fight.

And I always win!

A Mysterious Fascination

Many things fascinate me. From what makes people tick, to coffee art, to Egyptian geese… let’s just say my fascination is diverse!

One such thing that has gripped my grey matter… is the very popular & public disappearance of 3yr old Madeleine McCann. Since she vanished in 2007, I have found the reports & stories so interesting. Even more so that there are so many unanswered questions. Where is this child? 

Some say the parents had something to do with her disappearance, some say there was a known paedophile in the area where they vacationed, some say she was trafficked, some say she is dead & buried and then there’s the forensic artist’s impression of what she’d look like at age 9.

Every time I find myself in a bookstore, I gravitate towards the biography section & it’s as if subconsciously I always pick up a book about what someone has to say (while making loads of cash doing so) about this little girl & the crazy, weird, suspicious circumstances around her going “poof” Oh I’ve even started looking in the library for more literature on the subject. But it’s not an obsession – just really a now-and-then fascination 😉

I guess we’ll only know when she is found – dead or alive unfortunately. Because let’s face it… If she’s been trafficked & married off or stuck in a dungeon somewhere – those creeps won’t be blogging about her.

Maybe I should get into the elusive “dark web” there’s something else that fascinates me!!

This is me…

I am in love with photography. I have a camera…have a diploma saying I know some fundamentals about the art of photography… but my problem is I don’t make nearly enough time to actually be a photographer. How sad. What is holding me back? Well, simply fear! Fear of not reaching certain standards set by myself. You will learn very quickly that I am super critical of myself. Such a tug-of-war! It’s also fear of criticism – it’s ok for me to crit myself to death, but I get super nervous about what others think. Again, how sad!

Getting all this out of my head-space is an attempt to.. well… get past these shackles of fear!  Because until I can let go, I will always be linked to the chain of 8-5 unhappiness…the mundane life confined to a desk, typing away angrily, sorting though endless amounts of spreadsheets, arriving in the morning with a heavy heart, counting the hours of my day (my life) away, getting excited about a Friday simply because that means 2 days of freedom… haha WOW!

So, I will upload a photograph taken by myself once in a while – because I am a commitment-phobe, so cannot commit to how often this will happen – and I will welcome any criticism as a learning opportunity.

I must just say… LotsHappeningUpThere will not only be about photography, more so about everyday me.

I am not a professional writer or photographer or anything other than dreamer actually.