Peer pressure doesn’t magically disappear when you turn 21. It’s something that takes a different form once you’re an adult. Sometimes it’s just blatant bullying.
For example, why don’t you have a boyfriend? (In the “what’s wrong with you” tone) You may even get nudged (or bullied) into a fix-up.
Now I have a great guy in my life, so the shift moves to “when are you getting married?” You then get reminded that you’ve been in a relationship for however long they can remember you being together. Also, you are reminded how many others have tied the knot. Ever consider, maybe we as a couple have just not found this to be a priority? That maybe we are happy & content with the way things are? And last I heard, weddings are frikkin expensive – we’d rather TRAVEL!
Next up…the “when are you having kids” questions. Oh my hat! Having been in said “long relationship”, my partner & I discussed this at length & came to the decision that we have no interest in having kids. We don’t have to justify or explain our decision to anyone. But the amount of brazen reactions we get, like;
- You don’t know what you’re missing out on
- I’m sorry? Sleep?
- Who will you have when you’re old
- I am enough & plan for my “old age”
- Don’t you want to leave a legacy
- Doing so everyday
- How can you be so selfish? There are women struggling to have babies & you choose not to?
- Am I to become a surrogate to ease your conscience? “Choose” = Choice = MINE
I live my life. I am not a sheep in the herd following what everyone else is doing. If something works for me, I am going with that. Surely, if I am happy, that should be enough? It’s hard enough being an adult, having to deal with grown up pressures, work stress, bills to pay, etc. Dealing with other people’s ideals is certainly not on my priority list.
Thank goodness I’ve gotten over the “people pleasing” otherwise I may just have popped some kiddies to “fit in” or make others happy.
So you really have to be clear on what it is you want. Before succumbing to the peer pressure & making life altering decisions.
Please feel free to comment on this topic.